A man boarded a plane with 6 children. After getting them all settled in their seats a woman leans over and says 'are all those kids yours?' No, replied the man. I work for a condom company and these are customer complaints I'm taking back to the home office !
.. Hey gmill.. What company was that anyway ? .. what say you Reaissance man.
A rich rancher passes away leaving everything to his attractive widow. Determined to keep the ranch but knowing nothing about how to run it she runs an ad for a hired hand. Two cowboys answer the ad -a gay cowboy and a drunkard cowboy. After no one else applies she finally decides , I'll hire the gay one , should be safer with him around than the drunkard. He works out quite well and after 2 weeks of really really hard work she tells him on saturday evening he should go into town and "kick up his heels". He agrees he could use the rest. By midnight he's not back from town , 1o'clock no cowboy , 2 o'clock still no hired hand. Finally at 3 o 'clock in the morning he creeps into the house and heads to his room. The attractive widow is sitting by the fireplace with a half empty bottle of wine. She orders him to come over to where shes sitting next to the fireplace. Unbotton my blouse and take it off she orders. With trembling hands he obeys and drops the blouse on the floor. Now take off my boots she orders. Again ever so slowly he removes her boots. Now take off my socks. Very gently with trembling hands he removes the socks and lays them neatly by the boots. Now take off my skirt. With trepidition he removes the skirt and lets it fall to the floor. Now remove my bra. Hands now visibly shaking he removes her bra and lets it slide to the floor. Now, says the attractive widow " If you ever wear my clothes into town again I will fire you on the spot !!!"
What is jello? Kool aid with a hard on. The old janitor at my high school used to tell us jokes like that all the time. He was cool as sh!t, heres to you crazy Carl you dirty old man.
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