Idiot Of The Day

Lets start it out with this GUY and add as you see fit.

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jlmarta:
Here's an interesting video. Anyone who knows anything about snapping turtles will know that the guy in the video certainly qualifies as an idiot.

http://www.wimp.com/snappingturtles/

Marty

Dang I was hoping one of those turtles was going to bite the crap out of him.

amz1301

Man Milks Own Breasts, Wacky Article Ensues

With this fact in mind, Michael Thomsen set off to do what any self-respecting journalist in possession of counterintuitive information would do: He wrote a column for Slate. "I'm 33 years old and single in New York City, a cross between Carrie Bradshaw and George Costanza—if there's such a thing as a male biological clock, mine has started ticking. I know I can't birth a child myself, but what if I could bear one to suck at my bosom? Could my rudimentary mammae yield a copious supply of milk?"

Thomsen purchases a *** pump and starts pumping his man boobs with regularity, hoping trick the mechanoreceptors in his nipples into triggering lactation. The process sort of aroused him. "It was strange to apply a *** pump for the first time. My nipples aren't accustomed to regular stimulation, and though I felt like I was defying the natural order, pumping was surprisingly pleasant. Nipples are filled with nerve endings, after all, and the gentle upward tug of the pump was both comforting and erotic."

By now the suspense must be killing you. Did Michael Thomsen's nipples secrete man milk? I don't want to spoil the article for you, but...No, they did not. Michael Thomsen failed to milk himself. This is what every expert, scientist, and book that Michael Thomsen consulted for this article said would happen. In other words, Slate published 1800 words of consequence-free male nipple erotica.

amz1301

U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray Lahood, do as I say, not as I do.

U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood unveiled new fuel-economy window stickers for cars and trucks, saying "we're not just sitting around waiting for high gasoline prices to come down." His ride of choice to the unveiling: This 12-mpg Chevy Suburban SUV.

wwestern

SHHHHHHH!!! your not supposed to call these idiots out on their bullshit lol.

amz1301

You gotta read this

Indiana Cops Bust Man Wearing Only Olive Oil
"I’m from New York,” suspect told police. “Can’t I do this here?”

MAY 26--Responding to a call about a naked guy sunbathing, cops in Mishawaka, Indiana arrived at a local park Tuesday afternoon to discover a smiling Michael Donte Booth in the altogether. His nudity “was deliberate and not a wardrobe malfunction,” police concluded, according to an arrest report.

A survey of the crime scene determined that Booth’s shorts and underwear were several feet away from the blanket upon which he was laying on his back “with his entire genitals showing.” Nearby, officers found the book “Gay Power,” a “Kroger bottle of extra virgin olive oil,” two cans of Miller beer, and Marlboro cigarettes.

“Sweating all over his body,” Booth, 26, appeared to have drizzled himself with the olive oil. While his clothes smelled of marijuana, no contraband was recovered by cops, who noted that the suspect was “acting very unusual.”

Booth, who “kept smiling wide eyed at officers,” told police, “I’m from New York. Can’t I do this here?” He continued, “I’m a Republican and the cigarettes pay your taxes.” In response to those nonsensical observations, officers “quickly detained him in cuffs and using the blanket for cover inside a police mechanical.”

Though it can be a very permissive place, Gotham still considers full-frontal sunbathing to be illegal, despite the contention of Booth, a “jazz/lounge/R&B” singer whose MySpace page features him covering Dinah Washington and Dionne Warwick. Booth, who uses the handle “A New Diva,” can also be seen in a YouTube video channeling Peggy Lee.

Along with public indecency and public intoxicaton charges, Booth was hit with a third misdemeanor count, “false informing,” for initially lying to officers about his identity. He is being held in the St. Joseph County Jail in lieu of $200 bond.

amz1301

Picking up strangers while traveling can be thrilling, but in the 21st century United States, there's no worse pickup line than "Have you ever wondered if someone could get something on the plane they weren't supposed to?" Meet that guy.

Last Friday, after a day of delays and five Jack-and-Cokes, one Bryan Sisco boarded the Delta flight from Dallas to Atlanta at 9:45. Sisco, 40, told the Memphis Commercial Appeal he just decided to sit down in a random seat. When Danielle Valimont, 23, happened to sit next to him, the recently divorced Sisco decided to flirt with her, offering her chocolate, and telling her he was an architect and a flight marshal. When the flight attendant and another passenger tried to claim the seat, Sisco said he and the woman were newlyweds. By the way, those Jack-and-Cokes? Doubles.

"We were talking, sharing M&Ms, eating chocolate, having a good time," he said. "I fabricated some truths about myself. ... I thought we were getting along pretty good."

Valimont tells it a little differently, saying on her blog that Sisco was "jittery" when she sat down and within a couple of minutes, she texted "I'm sitting beside a crazy man." Things only got more romantic from there:

"Have you ever wondered if someone could get something on the plane they weren't supposed to?" he said. My heart dropped…"I'm sure its possible…" I replied. "It is…" He opened his book bag and brought out a silver metal torch-like item and put it near my leg. He clicked a button and a 4-6 inch blue flame shot out … I acted as if it was no big deal, though my heart was racing. "That's cool- what else do you have?" I said. He opened his bag and pulled out an item that looked similar to the end of a headset and told me it was like a tazor and could cause temporary paralysis...

And when the woman picked up the cylinder Sisco was carrying that he had said was architectural drawings, "he said it was a canister filled with gas strong enough to make everyone on the plane pass out." When she said she didn't believe him and went to open the cylinder, "he freaked out and told me to stop."

So Valimont, now believing she was sitting next to the muscular, armed Texas version of the Underwear Bomber, played it cool. She kept Sisco talking, then made an excuse to use the bathroom. While there, she typed a note to flight attendants on her phone: "If the guy in 20D is a Marshall disregard this msg. He has a torch that he lit and showed me. And he said his canister has a gas device that will make everyone on the plane pass out if there is danger. He also has a device that says is like a tazor. I will go sit back down. Do what you need to."

The flight attendants did what they needed to — having the pilot divert the plane to Memphis for an emergency landing, get police on board dressed as paramedics and escort Sisco, who didn't realize what was going on until he was on the ground — into custody.

Sisco spent four days in custody, including two strip searches. He's banned from Delta for life, and has regained some of the common sense washed away in Dallas: "It was stupid of me. I'm a dumbass."

wwestern

Drunken regrets are the best kind rofl.

Redtailhawkoz

I have a Couple of Nominees! ROTFLMAO!

Diamondog

amz1301:
Man Milks Own Breasts, Wacky Article Ensues

With this fact in mind, Michael Thomsen set off to do what any self-respecting journalist in possession of counterintuitive information would do: He wrote a column for Slate. "I'm 33 years old and single in New York City, a cross between Carrie Bradshaw and George Costanza—if there's such a thing as a male biological clock, mine has started ticking. I know I can't birth a child myself, but what if I could bear one to suck at my bosom? Could my rudimentary mammae yield a copious supply of milk?"

Thomsen purchases a *** pump and starts pumping his man boobs with regularity, hoping trick the mechanoreceptors in his nipples into triggering lactation. The process sort of aroused him. "It was strange to apply a *** pump for the first time. My nipples aren't accustomed to regular stimulation, and though I felt like I was defying the natural order, pumping was surprisingly pleasant. Nipples are filled with nerve endings, after all, and the gentle upward tug of the pump was both comforting and erotic."

By now the suspense must be killing you. Did Michael Thomsen's nipples secrete man milk? I don't want to spoil the article for you, but...No, they did not. Michael Thomsen failed to milk himself. This is what every expert, scientist, and book that Michael Thomsen consulted for this article said would happen. In other words, Slate published 1800 words of consequence-free male nipple erotica.

I think he's confused, its the prostate you milk...

Diamondog

amz1301:
The idiot of the day today unfortunately represents my home town. Ray Ray I love you but why would you make a statement like this. Stick to what you know baby, football. Let the lawyers discuss the lockout !!!

Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis believes there will be an increase in criminal activity if the NFL lockout lasts into the regular season. And he’s not talking about crime committed by NFL players.

Lewis told ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio that he thinks there’s a segment of the population that will be at risk of turning to criminal activity if there’s no football to watch on Sundays in the fall.

Lewis said “Do this research if we don’t have a season — watch how much evil, which we call crime, watch how much crime picks up, if you take away our game,” Lewis said. “There’s too many people that live through us, people live through us. Yeah, walk in the streets, the way I walk the streets, and I’m not talking about the people you see all the time.”

Asked to explain why crime would increase without NFL games, Lewis said: “There’s nothing else to do, Sal.”

Wonder if the murder rate will go up?

Diamondog

amz1301:
The woman reported that Pearce was wearing jeans tucked into cowboy boots,

Anyone that tucks their jeans in to their cowboy boots is OK in my books...

amz1301

Sausage fan has therapy to break his addiction the bangers

BANGER bonkers David Harding loves sausages so much he has become the first man in Britain to undergo therapy in a bid to stop his 13-a-day habit.

The 47-year-old dad of three has already shelled out nearly £2,000 on counselling and hypnosis to “break the spell” of his addiction. But married David, from Greenwich, South London, admits he is no closer to “freeing” himself from his addiction.

He said: “I genuinely cannot bear the thought of living without sausages. “Drug addicts crave their fix, and it’s the same for me – except my drug is a banger.”

Accountant David has eaten at least one sausage per day – in sandwiches, fry-ups or main meals – since the age of five and routinely tucks in to as many as 13 porky treats a day. He spends £700 a year on bangers and has bought a deep chest freezer just to store his favourites – McWhinney’s Irish pork sausages. David realised he could be an addict last year when wife Susan decided to do “something different” for dinner and failed to serve his usual fare.

He said: “I went a bit mad at the thought of it. It was then that I realised something wasn’t quite right and sought professional help.”

Since then David has spent £1,876 on counselling, which has included four sessions with a specialist therapist and two with a hypnotist. Experts confirm his addiction is not physical, but so far neither the therapy nor the hypnosis has worked. David said: “Apparently I just like sausages – plain and simple. I don’t see that there is anything wrong with that, but I do think that I have to look at ways to control my urges.” McWhinney’s Sausages boss, Kevin McWhinney, said: “We are pleased that this gentleman likes our sausages, but wish him well in his quest to control his habit.”

wwestern

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4RNb3tt0LM

Lakota72

wwestern:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4RNb3tt0LM

I have to agree. I wanna eat dammit! 12 oz. sausage my a$$. lol

amz1301

Lakota72:
wwestern:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4RNb3tt0LM
I have to agree. I wanna eat dammit! 12 oz. sausage my a$$. lol

This guy is hilarious, take sausage away from either of these two and look out !!!

wwestern

K bro the holidays over get back to work! Seriously though this is great to read everyday and thanks for the work you put into it:)

amz1301

Here's the newest version of everyones favorite "Pants on the Ground" preformed by a mystery beer thief extraordinaire.

Here he is, watch the VIDEO

amz1301

wwestern:
K bro the holidays over get back to work! Seriously though this is great to read everyday and thanks for the work you put into it:)

You spoke too soon. Yesterday was rough but this morning was even rougher. Just posted, and it's a good one.

wwestern

BAHAHAHA get yourself a belt gangsta!

wwestern

*cough* Weiner *cough*

bige1371

That's some serious alcohol abuse. This guy needs help.

amz1301

OK, I've already put my 2 cents in on the political idiots today in Joeyjoes post. So onto the lighter side of idiocracy we go. Has it already been said "You might be a redneck if you tow your full, large, propane tank down the road chained to your pickup."

Video is at the top Man drags full propane tank behind his truck by a chain

stephen_hannibal

amz1301:
OK, I've already put my 2 cents in on the political idiots today in Joeyjoes post. So onto the lighter side of idiocracy we go. Has it already been said "You might be a redneck if you tow your full, large, propane tank down the road chained to your pickup."

Video is at the top Man drags full propane tank behind his truck by a chain

WTF!!! wow thank god he didn't kill someone. My friends and I blew up a propane tank (the little ones you use for a grill) and from a 100+ feet away the heat singed the hairs off my arm. This guy had a death wish.

amz1301

To quote the late Steve Irwin, "Crikey mate !!!" Here we have the elusive concrete alligator rarely seen in its natural habitat....Gunned down by three of Independence, MO finest.

Independence Police Shoot At Concrete Alligator

bige1371

A superstitious Russian man died after burying himself alive in the hopes it would bring him "good luck." The 35-year-old computer programmer told friends that spending a night underground would bring him good fortune for the rest of his life. "According to his friend, the man wanted to test his endurance and insistently asked his friend to help him spend the night buried," police official Alexei Lubinsky told the BBC. The victim dug a hole in his garden in the eastern city of Blagoveshchensk and created an improvised coffin with pipes for air. With a cell phone and a bottle of water in hand, he hopped in and had his friend cover the coffin with about eight inches of dirt. Heavy rain fell overnight and when the friend returned the next morning, his pal was dead. Police suspect the rain somehow blocked the air supply.

wwestern

amz1301:
To quote the late Steve Irwin, "Crikey mate !!!" Here we have the elusive concrete alligator rarely seen in its natural habitat....Gunned down by three of Independence, MO finest.

Independence Police Shoot At Concrete Alligator

Oh you know this poor *** will be heckled daily by the entire force for the rest of his career.

jj20030

patti labelle , taking pictures with cops after her bodygaurds whip up on a west point cadet with his blood splattered all around http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/entertainment/music/110602-patti-labelle-airport-lawsuit

jlmarta

Ho, ho, ho......Lawsuit city!! The poor kid may not be able to pursue a career in football because of his head injury, but he ought to get enough out of suing LaBelle and investing it wisely to have a nice nest-egg later.

Marty

amz1301

We’re going streaking through the quad and into the pool, Come on everybody!, Come on!!! Snoop, snoop a loop

Video is at the bottom of the page, lol Naked jogger streaks through Kansas suburb, hops into community pool full of kids

amz1301

How NOT to talk your way out of that speeding ticket

Boynton man charged with assaulting police during traffic stop

Police arrested a driver Saturday morning after they say he told a sergeant during a traffic stop that "I laugh when police officers get shot." Police say he then tried to reach for something under his car seat.

Police had pulled George Spadaccini, 43, over in the 1600 block of South Federal Highway shortly after 9 a.m.

Serving as back-up at the traffic stop was Sgt. Richard McNevin, who was shot in the line of duty in August 2008 by a drive-by shooting suspect. A bullet struck McNevin's chest, but he was wearing a body armor vest and was not seriously injured.

As McNevin was handing Spadaccini a traffic summons, he told Spadaccini, "Sir, you are free to leave," to which Spadaccini responded: "You're free to get shot up."

That's when police say Spadaccini attempted to reach for something under his car seat. Officers pulled Spadaccini out of his vehicle and handcuffed him.

Police said they later searched Spadaccini's vehicle and found a knife in a driver's side door pocket.

Spadaccini, of Boynton Beach, was released Saturday afternoon from the Palm Beach County Jail on his own recognizance.