When does compassion end?

jd50ae

roland_7707

No sir. I dont think that you are wrong, sometimes the best thing that we can do for people is pray. In my openion its better that a hand-out.

jd50ae

avengethis

While my kids are young yet and I have not had to experience this my stance is and will be that the best lessons are the ones learned the hard way. If it where me I would push back against the wife a little to try and stop her from moving in. I wouldn't ruin my marriage over it if she doesn't back down but I would make my feelings known and try to enforce it.

jd50ae

honorknight7

Amos Umwhat

james40

Bob Luken

I feel for you James. I'd hate to be in your shoes but you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. But I'm with you as far as how I feel about humans vs dogs and I don't even HAVE a dog at the moment. People suck.

twistedstem

First Warrior

My compassion ends with people who lie and steal. I feel for you JD, what a position for you to be in. Is there no way you can talk to your other half about reality? If you let this parasite move in you will never get her out. Of course you know that. I got no answers for you but if this person breaks the law (drugs) I would explain to her that you will call law enforcement. I would tell her that no drugs, and no drinking because of the children. I don't think she understands nice but she probably understands threats. Good luck and you can PM me anytime.

perkinke

Tough question, I suspect it being your stepson complicates matters even more than if it was your joint child. I will bend over backwards to try and help people who are legitimately trying, heck, I wouldn't be alive right now if not for friends helping me and at one point drawing an ironclad line saying "stop what you're doing or you are never welcome in my home again;" but they have to be honestly trying. Don't need an answer, but have you and your wife talked to a counselor? Sometimes it helps to have a disinterested third party to talk to, or even the stepson's PO might be a good resource.

jadelt

jd50ae

webmost

jlmarta

I guess I'm just a hard-ass, JD, but I'll say it as concisely as I know how: there's a damned fine line between compassion and being an enabler. You'll have to find that line on your own because I haven't walked in your shoes but my advice to you is DON'T BE AN ENABLER. Believe me, it only makes things worse.

Echambers

Lee.mcglynn

Sorry to hear this jd...I myself was a horrible little *** early in life. I know it's tough right now and I can't say what you should do but I think you need to go to a nar-annon meeting and ask for advise on what to do. I would take you wife as well...if you don't know what this is it is a meeting for the family of addicts that share all that they have gone through. I think you'll find the best advice There! And maybe even understand what your son in law is going through

jd50ae

avengethis

First Warrior

No apology needed JD. Any way you can get a restraining order on them? For the children.