I got one better then that. I was wrapping up at work after a long day last week just about to leave. my wife calls asking if i'd be headed home anytime soon so she could start dinner. I grabbed up all the misc thing I needed to bring home but couldnt find my phone. "thats wierd, it was just here on my desk" I said to her. When she asked "what?" I realized my mistake. Blonde moment.
No DUIs here, although I deserved one a few times. I did spend a night in the drunk tank once after being yanked out of a college football game. I was in shorts and flip flops with my face and torso painted purple and grey(team colors.) We got a little crazy with the booze at the tailgate and got painted up. Went into the game, hooped and hollered through the first half, did our thing at halftime, and came back in with a camelback full of Tucker Max Deathmix(Everclear, gatorade, redbull.) After a few minutes my friend knocked me over into the loudspeaker, which knocked the speaker over the rail onto the sideline. This takes place conveniently directly next to a cop. I flip my buddy off and the cop thinks the finger was for him and out I go. Straight to the campus PD office I went. They said they were going to take me to jail if I didn't give them my parents' phone number. I was 21 and told them they didn't need to call my parents and I was a grown ass man. Off to jail I went.
I feel bad for the inmate that had to clean that cell. I scraped most of that paint off by hand as I was wondering around the cell waiting for my shady cellmates to pass out. It was a purple mess come morning. You can only call land lines from this cell unfortunately, and I only knew one land line; my parents. Come morning the nice lady asked "are you ever going to post bail?" I said I don't know any land lines and she offered to call a cell number for me. We get ahold of a friend of mine to come pick me up. I've never seen someone laugh so hard as my buddy did when he walked through the security door to get me. I'm sure it was well worth the couple hundred dollars he had to pony up to get me out, which I of course paid back with interest(booze.) I apparently hadn't done as good of a job scraping the paint off as I had thought and was still covered in spotty purple paint.
So...yea.....I was at one of those mid-mall tabacco crapholes here in mass a little over a year ago. They had all the regular over priced junk you normally find there. I looked at the prices of the Fuente stuff and prices were ok.... $4.79 for a Curly Head.... meh... I picked up one right next to it.... Priced the same $4.79. It was a little Robusto.... and I remember thinking to myself "Anejo... Huh... I thought that was Tequila". So yup. This idiot passed up a box of Anejo Robustos for under $5 a stick. This was before I really got into cigars so I had no clue. I told King when we herf'd and you could see the look of pain on his face.
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I feel bad for the inmate that had to clean that cell. I scraped most of that paint off by hand as I was wondering around the cell waiting for my shady cellmates to pass out. It was a purple mess come morning. You can only call land lines from this cell unfortunately, and I only knew one land line; my parents. Come morning the nice lady asked "are you ever going to post bail?" I said I don't know any land lines and she offered to call a cell number for me. We get ahold of a friend of mine to come pick me up. I've never seen someone laugh so hard as my buddy did when he walked through the security door to get me. I'm sure it was well worth the couple hundred dollars he had to pony up to get me out, which I of course paid back with interest(booze.) I apparently hadn't done as good of a job scraping the paint off as I had thought and was still covered in spotty purple paint.
Just reading that makes my stomach hurt.