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A New College Course...

jlmartajlmarta Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,440
I'm beginning to think (belatedly so, I'm sure) that colleges ought to offer a course in advanced female psychology. Is there such a thing? I'll explain:

Most of you know that my child bride and I have been married since at least the beginning of the first millennium and only recently have I begun to think that I've figured out how to deal with her.

For example, when I first began to smoke an occasional cigar, she was not at all happy with the notion. So I said, "Well, I don't plan to smoke them continuously, only maybe one every three days or so". After a period of time had passed I increased it to every other day. And she accepted that, albeit grudgingly. Later still, I suggested one per day. No problem. Now we're at a point where I can get away with two per day, maybe once or twice a week.

Maybe I should come out of retirement and offer to teach this course, ya s'pose?

I sure love this little gal. She just wants to keep ol' Orso Polara happy. Ain't love grand???

Comments

  • marineatbn03marineatbn03 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,634
    I think the reason there is no such course, is because just as you get to the point where you have them figured out, they pull a crazy Ivan. This makes it impossible to get it down to a scientific level. Besides, female powers to be wouldn't allow this course to be taught, then they would lose all the power, lol.
  • catfishbluezzcatfishbluezz Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 6,993
    Absolutely there is, it may not be a class though. This came about during the time of Freud, as his stance was mainly male centered, and is still alive today. Karen Horney ( I know...perfect name) was kind of the founding mother of female psycholgy as in the late 1800's the science was male centered. I've actually done some extensive research on it in my studies...
  • marineatbn03marineatbn03 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,634
    catfishbluezz:
    Absolutely there is, it may not be a class though. This came about during the time of Freud, as his stance was mainly male centered, and is still alive today. Karen Horney ( I know...perfect name) was kind of the founding mother of female psycholgy as in the late 1800's the science was male centered. I've actually done some extensive research on it in my studies...
    Never trust a female psychology course written by a female, that my motto anyhow. Its kinda like POTUS promising change, its all smoke and mirrors just to get their way.
  • jlmartajlmarta Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,440
    Well, rats. There goes my chance to be famous. Darn......
  • SmokindaddySmokindaddy Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,107
    Marty, I'm sure the course is long over due for an over haul. Lol
  • JCizzleJCizzle Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,910
    Yeah, sure, but I'll teach the grad version of the course. It goes something like this:

    When I first meet a girl, there comes a time when I will light up a cigar. If she says anything, I say "Oh, I smoke cigars, sometimes a few in a day, sometimes none for weeks." It is to be made clear that this is only information, not a question, and not an invite to share an opinion. If said girl doesn't like it, she is to be shown where the door is. :D
  • Amos UmwhatAmos Umwhat Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,523
    I thought Jack Nicholson's character in As Good as it Gets nailed it: "...just think of a man, then take away reason and accountability". But then, maybe that's just been my experience.
  • webmostwebmost Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,131
    Female Psychology 101:

    Men's thinking is linear. You start from a, go to b, hence to c, etc. So if you have to be there at six, it's four now, you need five minutes to pull on your pants and step in your shoes, five minutes to find your keys, half hour to get there, so you have to get ready at five fifteen.

    Women's thinking is spherical. She's in the center, all things are equidistant. There is no way from a to b to c ... only directly from her to a from her to c. She will be ready when she's ready and what the hell are you so wrapped up about. This is why if I had five minutes for every hour I've had to wait for a woman to get ready I could live forever.

    Spherical thinking has its disadvantages. If the car breaks down by the side of the road, the only thing she can do is reach for the phone and cry into it. You come, lift the hood, and figure it out step by step. This is why we call it history, and not herstory.

    Linear thinking has disadvantages: You start with you gotta get the saber tooth out of the cave so Ooka and the tyke she blames on you have a place to sleep. A couple million perfectly logical linear steps later you have Mutually Assured Destruction and SAC bombers circling the globe 24/7. She would never do this because it might hurt someone. This is why we call it history, and not herstory.

    If you think about them in terms of linear and spherical, you have a leg up on why they "think" the way they do. They are containers. They live through others. We are penetrators. We shove through others. Men are full of themselves. Our problem is ego. Toughest thing is putting up with our self confidence. Women are empty of themselves. Their problem is vanity. Toughest thing is nurturing their fragile self-confidence. On it goes. Lines and spheres.

    Just like our privy parts.

  • The SniperThe Sniper Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,910
    First thought - Professor Marty! I love it! Will never work though... you're nowhere NEAR liberal enough in your thinking to be a part of a university faculty. LOL

    Second thought - women are ALL crazy. Its simply a matter of finding out what LEVEL of crazy you're comfortable dealing with, and living with it.

  • jlmartajlmarta Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,440
    The Sniper:
    First thought - Professor Marty! I love it! Will never work though... you're nowhere NEAR liberal enough in your thinking to be a part of a university faculty. LOL

    Second thought - women are ALL crazy. Its simply a matter of finding out what LEVEL of crazy you're comfortable dealing with, and living with it.



    In response to your first thought - You're right. One tends to grow out of the idiocy called liberalism as one grows older and matures. And I'm only half-joking when I say that. Also, I just noticed that I may have stumbled onto something with that statement. If I recall, 'idiocy' is derived from Freud's "Id", which is basically all about the "me". And, as I see it, liberalism is also all about the "me". Hmmm. I may ponder on that for a while with a good smoke.

    As for your second thought, determining one's comfort level of "crazy" is necessary, I agree, but learning to manipulate that level of "crazy" is mastery, as I see it.

    WOW! I had no idea I was such an astute observer of life. :-p. I may have impressed myself. Guess I'll go ponder this, too, with that aforementioned smoke. LOL. Have a great day, Y'All........
  • xmacroxmacro Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,402
    My day has become better, and my burdens lighter, for having read this thread :)
  • Ken LightKen Light Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,524
    webmost:
    Female Psychology 101:

    Men's thinking is linear. You start from a, go to b, hence to c, etc. So if you have to be there at six, it's four now, you need five minutes to pull on your pants and step in your shoes, five minutes to find your keys, half hour to get there, so you have to get ready at five fifteen.

    Women's thinking is spherical. She's in the center, all things are equidistant. There is no way from a to b to c ... only directly from her to a from her to c. She will be ready when she's ready and what the hell are you so wrapped up about. This is why if I had five minutes for every hour I've had to wait for a woman to get ready I could live forever.

    Spherical thinking has its disadvantages. If the car breaks down by the side of the road, the only thing she can do is reach for the phone and cry into it. You come, lift the hood, and figure it out step by step. This is why we call it history, and not herstory.

    Linear thinking has disadvantages: You start with you gotta get the saber tooth out of the cave so Ooka and the tyke she blames on you have a place to sleep. A couple million perfectly logical linear steps later you have Mutually Assured Destruction and SAC bombers circling the globe 24/7. She would never do this because it might hurt someone. This is why we call it history, and not herstory.

    If you think about them in terms of linear and spherical, you have a leg up on why they "think" the way they do. They are containers. They live through others. We are penetrators. We shove through others. Men are full of themselves. Our problem is ego. Toughest thing is putting up with our self confidence. Women are empty of themselves. Their problem is vanity. Toughest thing is nurturing their fragile self-confidence. On it goes. Lines and spheres.

    Just like our privy parts.

    Nice theory. Now can you tell me why she can go from her to "c" faster than any other part of the sphere? >:D
  • fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,023
    Female Psychology is the life study of a married man. Unfortunately it is a lifelong pursuit and when you finally figure it out (just don't give a damn anymore) you die! Dang it.
  • Rail JockeyRail Jockey Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 758
    Words to live by: "Happy wife, Happy life"
  • jlmartajlmarta Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,440
    Hee hee hee. That's pretty darn close to right, Gypsy......
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