IVF

cmartin

Hey guys. My wife and I have been trying to have kids for a while now. We began to see a Doctor after trying for about a year. Long story short we are going to have to do In Vitro fertilization. The whole process is crazy expensive and the success rates are about 50/50. Ive been on meds for a while and after not seeing much improvent IVF is the only route. We were filling out the application for getting finacnce for the whole procedure. Have anyone of you guys had any experience or know anyone who has done it. the whole process is going to be about $25,000. Stressing out is an under statement. Any info is appreciated. Feels a little better to vent too.

jr_p951

I have no experience with this but I do have a question. For that amount of money, are able to pick Male or Female? Blue eyes or brown eyes? Etc... During college, we had moral and ethical debates on the ability to pick and choose your child and his/her characteristics. I've never had the chance to ask someone who was actually going thru or had the process completed. I'm sure it is stressful. I'd ask if there was any kind of insurance or options available. Paying that kind of money and then the Doc saying..."sorry, it just didn't take." and I'm out $25K would send me high and to the right!! Maybe a second opinion from another Doc would help ease the stress. A decision of this magnitude should be made with confidence.

Roberto99

Hi Chris. The University of Minnesota has a program that will give you 3 IVF's for something like 10-15k. At least that was the going rate about 5 years ago. I checked your age and it looks like you would qualify. PM coming your way.

cmartin

There was actually a news report about a month agoabout picking gender and traits. As of now you cant pick anything it either takes or doesnt. Ive done a few different test with different Drs offices and they all came back the same. I produce but for some reason they dont come out. It would be weird being able to pick gender and traits. Although i do want a boy first at this point Ill take either or. I feel bad for my wife. She works in the Er and haskids that are 16-17 with their own kids. i hope it takes. i go back in a few weeks for more blood tests.

phobicsquirrel

My cousin did it. Not sure how much she spent for it but it wasn't cheap. I told her to adopt, but she didn't want to do it. Good luck btw.

cmartin

Thanks. Adoption is definatly on the table. i just really want my wife to be able to carry our child. Donation was another choice just dont know how I feel about that.

Krieger

another option is a kind of surrogate father, if you guys were wanting to go down that route.

taythegibs

My aunt and uncle had good luck with it, my aunt for some reason couldnt get pregnant and after about a year of IVF (and lots of $$$) she was able to and nine months later she had my cousin (who is currently hitting me with a toy guitar...) and two years later they were able to conceive naturally.

My stepmom cant have children at all and never will so she and my dad decided to become foster parents and after dealing with that for a couple of years they adopted my now 7 yo little sister who came into the home at about 9 months. I do not know about how it is in your area but here the majority of the foster kids are from meth homes and my little sister is no exception, she will always suffer from her birth mother doing meth during pregnancy (sporadic seizures, permanent nerve damage that effects one of her eyes, and possible reduced mental capabilities) but even though she ticks me off and is a spoiled brat adoption is a great thing!
I personally hope to be able to adopt if my future wife will go along with it.

gripnrip

My daughter has been through this three times (so far). The first experience was a success and she gave birth to a beautiful, healthy little girl. My granddaughter just turned two. They tried again a year ago, but she miscarried. On their third try, the two embryos "took" and she is now about 21 weeks pregnant with twin girls! They also were able to freeze one "good" embryo so they will be able to implant another one down the road for a lot less expense and prep (assuming they have the energy..). They spent about 25k on the first, but were able to find a less expensive provider for the next two procedures, about 15k each. They are fortunate that my son-in-law has a great job and makes a good living-still quite a sacrafice tho. It really all becomes worthwhile when that baby is born. If the IVF had not worked the thrid time I'm sure they would have gone the adoption route, but I understand that is very expensive (and risky/difficult) as well. Best of luck to you and your wife.

RBeckom

Best wishes to you and your wife. It sounds expensive until you factor in the years of enjoyment involved in raising A child. Then it is worth every cent. Good luck and may God bless you and your wife.

cmartin

Sounds like some good expeirnces. Having a mis carriage is my worst nightmare. i rather it not take from the begining. the package we are getting from the finance is 3 fresh eggs and 3 frozen. the doc said most of the time they take on the second shot. Im for adoption if this doesnt work thats what we are going to do. There are a lot of kids that need a good home. My wife is actually pretty set on adopting whether this takes or not. Her Mom is also adopted. just got a second job to help pay for it all. We will see what happens. Thanks for the posts. Makes me feel better to hear success stories.

gmill880

Good luck bro ... never had any personal or family experience with .

cmartin

Well we went through with it. Ended up doing one fresh and one frozen. Only 1 fertilized egg survived. I'm happy to say that my wife is now 9 weeks pregnant. It's been a crazy couple of weeks here. Just wanted to thank you guys for all the advice and stories. She's still on daily meds but only for another 3 weeks. I got to see my new baby at 7 weeks. Didn't look like much but still made me tear up and almost throw up lol. Thanks again fellas. I'll be posting more now that I'll have more time.

The buffalonian

congrats !!

Lee.mcglynn

phobicsquirrel:

My cousin did it. Not sure how much she spent for it but it wasn't cheap. I told her to adopt, but she didn't want to do it. Good luck btw.

I'm a big supporter in adoption!! I feel like its a pif to the world!! There are already so many kids that need a caring family in this world and so far brad and anjolina are taking most of them lol but that's just my 2cents plus I'm adopted so it might be a biassed opinion lol

Vision

Congrats brother! I just had my first and it is such a blessing. Good luck on your journey my man!

kaspera79

cmartin:

Well we went through with it. Ended up doing one fresh and one frozen. Only 1 fertilized egg survived. I'm happy to say that my wife is now 9 weeks pregnant. It's been a crazy couple of weeks here. Just wanted to thank you guys for all the advice and stories. She's still on daily meds but only for another 3 weeks. I got to see my new baby at 7 weeks. Didn't look like much but still made me tear up and almost throw up lol. Thanks again fellas. I'll be posting more now that I'll have more time.

Hey Coldplay, congratulations. The question that needs to be asked is which one survived the fresh or the frozen.

cmartin

Well they got 20 eggs but only 10 matured. And only 4 survived the initial fertilization process. And out of those 4 only one grew at a normal rate. So I guess it's technically the fresh one. But we won't have a frozen one as a back up. Which we had to pay for. But there were no guarantees from the beginning. It sucks to have to pay for something we couldn't have. But atleast the one took and worked. We are just praying now to get out of the first trimester.

kaspera79

cmartin:

Well they got 20 eggs but only 10 matured. And only 4 survived the initial fertilization process. And out of those 4 only one grew at a normal rate. So I guess it's technically the fresh one. But we won't have a frozen one as a back up. Which we had to pay for. But there were no guarantees from the beginning. It sucks to have to pay for something we couldn't have. But atleast the one took and worked. We are just praying now to get out of the first trimester.

wow. my neighbor spent over 100K for an IVF process. They now have two great twin 8 y.o. boys... I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

cmartin

Wow that's crazy. We are at about the 18-22k mark so far. Thanks bro. I appreciate it.

Krieger

Best of luck!

mmccartneydc

Congrats, just saw this! We are 10 weeks and one day!

Roberto99

Congratulations to both of you guys! Awesome.