The Sniper's Box
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Traitor! The Beard will hear of this treachery!mrpillow:I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated... -
You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!mrpillow:I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated... -
Alex, bro, you are cracking me up lately!Alex Williams:
You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!mrpillow:I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...
I do agree though, he who even thinks of betraying the beard shall be damned for eternity -
I have taken the liberty oif approaching "The Beard" This is his response:
I can't participate in trades, but thank everyone for me!
Tim Blythe
Cigar.com
(800) 357-9800
tblythe@cigar.com
-----Original Message-----
From: Ozzie Osborne [mailto:redtailhawkoz@sbcglobal.net]
Sent: Monday, March 22, 2010 10:39 PM
To: Tim Blythe
Subject: Hi Tim
Ozzie here from the Forums and Customer,
I am not sure if you have seen or heard but there is a new Memember on the boards that is starting
some new game or something and he is claiming to be bombing people untill he gets your address so he can Bomb you with some sticks i guess!
Are you willing to give that Up? Thanks bro
Ozzie
Looks like the Sniper is dead in his tracks without firing a SHOT! LOL
Sorry Sniper! -
Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...Alex Williams:
You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!mrpillow:I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated... -
hahaha thanks bro. have you ever done it? it sucks! if someone is really drunk. dare em to hahaHays:
Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...Alex Williams:
You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!mrpillow:I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated... -
so someone wants to send the Beard gifts and we're saying not too, is that weird. I don't get it.
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dennisking:so someone wants to send the Beard gifts and we're saying not too, is that weird. I don't get it.
Im not saying to not send the beard gifts the way the email Read he cant play in the games and wont give out his address .
I say Bomb the *** out of him! LOL -
AHA! Your first mistake, my good sir, is assuming I smoke anything other than cheap fake cubans and Swisher Sweets. It would seem the joke is on you today!Alex Williams:
You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!mrpillow:I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated... -
I say we get the address and send a bottle of Jameson to the CCom offices so they can put it in their coffee.
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I had someone light one of my farts once and lets just say I am lucky I didn't end up with severe burns and a hospital visit. It was bad!Alex Williams:
hahaha thanks bro. have you ever done it? it sucks! if someone is really drunk. dare em to hahaHays:
Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...Alex Williams:
You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!mrpillow:I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated... -
jsnake:
I had someone light one of my farts once and lets just say I am lucky I didn't end up with severe burns and a hospital visit. It was bad!Alex Williams:
hahaha thanks bro. have you ever done it? it sucks! if someone is really drunk. dare em to hahaHays:
Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...Alex Williams:
You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!mrpillow:I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...A Blue Flamer. Glad to hear you survived Jsnake
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Done that. SUCKED! Burnt a hole in my lucky guinness boxers and singed my ass hair! Also hurt to sit for a few days.. I do really stupid things with fire habadge54fd:jsnake:
I had someone light one of my farts once and lets just say I am lucky I didn't end up with severe burns and a hospital visit. It was bad!Alex Williams:
hahaha thanks bro. have you ever done it? it sucks! if someone is really drunk. dare em to hahaHays:
Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...Alex Williams:
You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!mrpillow:I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...A Blue Flamer. Glad to hear you survived Jsnake
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Alex Williams:badge54fd:jsnake:
I had someone light one of my farts once and lets just say I am lucky I didn't end up with severe burns and a hospital visit. It was bad!Alex Williams:Hays:Alex Williams:mrpillow:I'd be more than happy to enlighten you as to the Beards location as long as I am adequately compensated...
You are hereby and forthwith cast into eternal damnation. May all your cigars turn to cheap fake cubans and swisher sweets. Save for one... That one shall be an original release opusx but upon lighting it, the wrapper shall crack, canoe, and tunnell; the draw will be plugged; the smoke acrid, harsh, and slightly reminiscent of a mixture of someone else's boogers and ear wax. After being thoroughly dissatisfied with the opus, an angry midget shall spring forth from the dark crevices of your room only to kick you in the shins and flee only to return every night to rub icy hot on your genitalia. That is your punishment and may that little man be swift and fierce in his attacks upon thee who betrayeth The Beard!!
Alex, not only is this awesome, but also far better than my typical go-to threat: "I'll light your nipples on fire"... needless to say, I carry my zippo with me at all times...
hahaha thanks bro. have you ever done it? it sucks! if someone is really drunk. dare em to haha
A Blue Flamer. Glad to hear you survived Jsnake
Done that. SUCKED! Burnt a hole in my lucky guinness boxers and singed my ass hair! Also hurt to sit for a few days.. I do really stupid things with fire ha
seconded I lit a fart once at my buddies and singed off my butt hairs.. it did light a pretty sweet flame though, I may have to try that again.. hmmmm -
Oh you guys are killing me. I didn't want to go there with the singed butt hair but since you all did yeah that is what happened.
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INFIDELS!!! How dare you defile this shrine for my mission to snipe The Beard with your... your... with your singed butt hair & your fried nipples! Defilers & blasphemers will pay for their insolence! Soon I will put the stars in your eyes so you can see the truth more clearly!
Better watch out - 'cos Im the assassin!
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Now sir, I will light your nipples and butt hair on fire, have laker come over there and fist you, have ormondefg come over there and insult you, shine a laser on your crotch so my dog will attack what little manhood you have, and THEN send the midget to come rub icy hot upon whatever genitalia still remains. If you still haven't had enough after that, then i shall cast the same curse as i did upon mrpillow! You have been warned.The Sniper:INFIDELS!!! How dare you defile this shrine for my mission to snipe The Beard with your... your... with your singed butt hair & your fried nipples! Defilers & blasphemers will pay for their insolence! Soon I will put the stars in your eyes so you can see the truth more clearly!
Better watch out - 'cos Im the assassin! -
br>Alex Williams:
Now sir, I will light your nipples and butt hair on fire, have laker come over there and fist you, have ormondefg come over there and insult you, shine a laser on your crotch so my dog will attack what little manhood you have, and THEN send the midget to come rub icy hot upon whatever genitalia still remains. If you still haven't had enough after that, then i shall cast the same curse as i did upon mrpillow! You have been warned.The Sniper:INFIDELS!!! How dare you defile this shrine for my mission to snipe The Beard with your... your... with your singed butt hair & your fried nipples! Defilers & blasphemers will pay for their insolence! Soon I will put the stars in your eyes so you can see the truth more clearly!
Better watch out - 'cos Im the assassin!
ROTFLMAO That one was good Alex! This is Moe fun than a Healthcare debate!
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Oooooppps. I derailed the wrong thread apparently.The Sniper:INFIDELS!!! How dare you defile this shrine for my mission to snipe The Beard with your... your... with your singed butt hair & your fried nipples! Defilers & blasphemers will pay for their insolence! Soon I will put the stars in your eyes so you can see the truth more clearly!
Better watch out - 'cos Im the assassin! -
well google says he lives in allentown, and he's 91, and google never lies
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So, I'm all for protecting the Beard, but can this really be that hard? you mail a box to CCOM's address, attn: Tim Blythe? Wouldn't that work? Works for every other business I know.
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That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe).
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Yeah, good point. I thought about that, but their mailing address on here under contact us shows that same address. I don't know. The Beard isn't scared of a little bomb anyways. The bomb would fail to detonate in fear of the Beard's retaliation, which would surely be end-of-the-world type s**tAlex Williams:That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe). -
I'm more than willing to take one for the Beard. Send that bomb my way. I'll figure out which wires to cut!
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The Beard lives among the cigars, everyone knows that. If you put: "The Beard c/o A Big Mothertruckin Warehouse in PA, Aisle 22" on an envelope, it'll get to him...... true story.Alex Williams:That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe). -
I actually LOL'd. If you guys want to find out where the offices are, just message Alex and tell him what's up.lilwing88:
The Beard lives among the cigars, everyone knows that. If you put: "The Beard c/o A Big Mothertruckin Warehouse in PA, Aisle 22" on an envelope, it'll get to him...... true story.Alex Williams:That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe). -
The alex that knows everything! Not me.dennisking:
I actually LOL'd. If you guys want to find out where the offices are, just message Alex and tell him what's up.lilwing88:
The Beard lives among the cigars, everyone knows that. If you put: "The Beard c/o A Big Mothertruckin Warehouse in PA, Aisle 22" on an envelope, it'll get to him...... true story.Alex Williams:That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe). -
HA!!! How many pm's did you get?Alex Williams:
The alex that knows everything! Not me.dennisking:
I actually LOL'd. If you guys want to find out where the offices are, just message Alex and tell him what's up.lilwing88:
The Beard lives among the cigars, everyone knows that. If you put: "The Beard c/o A Big Mothertruckin Warehouse in PA, Aisle 22" on an envelope, it'll get to him...... true story.Alex Williams:That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe). -
Well actually none but I figures I'd better head that one off at the pass!cholmes8310:
HA!!! How many pm's did you get?Alex Williams:
The alex that knows everything! Not me.dennisking:
I actually LOL'd. If you guys want to find out where the offices are, just message Alex and tell him what's up.lilwing88:
The Beard lives among the cigars, everyone knows that. If you put: "The Beard c/o A Big Mothertruckin Warehouse in PA, Aisle 22" on an envelope, it'll get to him...... true story.Alex Williams:That addy is a warehouse many companies ship from, not their office (I believe). -
I GOT SNIPED
