The Official Tim Blythe's Beard Appreciation Thread

100% of men and 5% of women want a beard

Proof positive that the ancient world knew and revered The Beard

The Beard got pulled over by a police officer once, the cop arrested himself after The Beard was done talking to him...

I thought it was Forbidden Beard

The beard invented Al Gore, thus creating the internet.

JCizzle:

That's not a beard, mate; that's a beard!

Thats a beard. Its not the beard though.

JCizzle:

I am humbled in the presence of THE beard.

Phew, thank goodness...listen that statement saved your beard hair...if you hadn't of said that you were minutes away from them spontanoeusly combusting...

Saved by the Beard.

The Beard is the only mission Captain Kirk failed to complete.

When Tim is ready to smoke a stick, he just rubs it once on his beard. The Beard perfectly cuts, toasts and lights the cigar.

Whether in the sahara desert or underwater, the relative cone of humidity around the Beard is a constant 70%.

Jerry Seinfeld was quoted by Rolling Stones saying that he wished he had a beard like Tim's....... Seinfeld was canceled a week later.

Thou shalt not covet The Beard.

Hayblet:

Just the mere thought from The Beard made my operation a success

If the beard were on the moped, the car would have been totalled.

Bruce Lee only refused to make one movie - Enter the Beard.

i'll give this a try. i hope no one said something like this -The Beard is so GREAT that you could replace the filler in super premium cigars with it and it would beat any cigar put up against it. -Is The Beards name Gillete? Because it's the best a man can get.

PsychoSJG:

ellinas:

i'll give this a try. i hope no one said something like this -The Beard is so GREAT that you could replace the filler in super premium cigars with it and it would beat any cigar put up against it.

dont kid yourself. That cigar would contain so much Ligero that any mortal man would pass out after 2 puffs from nicotine poisoning, and then suddenly explode from the sheer awesomeness of the stick

The story behind the new Man o War Armada is that it attained sheer awesome status by simply being in the same room as The Beard. An unforeseen consequence was that it can only be made in limited runs as that much awesome existing at one time would send our planet hurtling into the sun...the only survivor would be The Beard, and It would proceed to harness the magnificent power of the sun to power Its TV so It could watch reruns of The Office for all eternity...that's right, The Beard loves The Office, an therefore so we should too. All hail The Beard.

j0z3r:

PsychoSJG:

ellinas:

i'll give this a try. i hope no one said something like this -The Beard is so GREAT that you could replace the filler in super premium cigars with it and it would beat any cigar put up against it.

dont kid yourself. That cigar would contain so much Ligero that any mortal man would pass out after 2 puffs from nicotine poisoning, and then suddenly explode from the sheer awesomeness of the stick

The story behind the new Man o War Armada is that it attained sheer awesome status by simply being in the same room as The Beard. An unforeseen consequence was that it can only be made in limited runs as that much awesome existing at one time would send our planet hurtling into the sun...the only survivor would be The Beard, and It would proceed to harness the magnificent power of the sun to power Its TV so It could watch reruns of The Office for all eternity...that's right, The Beard loves The Office, an therefore so we should too. All hail The Beard.

I bow to you oh disciple of The Beard