The Official Tim Blythe's Beard Appreciation Thread

1101113151619

Comments

  • sol1821
    sol1821 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 706
    the beard discovered anti-hydrogen without the use of a LHC.
  • kuzi16
    kuzi16 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 14,471
    cabinetmaker:
    One day, the Beard said "Hey, it's too dark here"

    And God said "Let there be light...."

    The rest is history...
    i thought it went like this:
    in the beginning, there was nothing. then God said "let there be light" and there was light and it was good.
    then God said: "HOLY ***!! IS THAT THE BEARD?!?!?"


  • dennisking
    dennisking Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,681
    this thread has almost been active a year.

    Tim's Beard fixed the economy
  • PsychoSJG
    PsychoSJG Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 739
    kuzi16:
    cabinetmaker:
    One day, the Beard said "Hey, it's too dark here"

    And God said "Let there be light...."

    The rest is history...
    i thought it went like this:
    in the beginning, there was nothing. then God said "let there be light" and there was light and it was good.
    then God said: "HOLY ***!! IS THAT THE BEARD?!?!?"


    God created man in his own image. But God molded his beard after Tim's
  • james40
    james40 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,450
    Hope this is new - my first shot at this... Ask not what the Beard can do for you, but what you can do for the Beard!!
  • fla-gypsy
    fla-gypsy Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,023
    james40:
    Hope this is new - my first shot at this... Ask not what the Beard can do for you, but what you can do for the Beard!!
    Not bad, now ramp it up!
  • sol1821
    sol1821 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 706
    It was the beard who convinced the first blind man he needed sunglasses.
  • sol1821
    sol1821 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 706
    The beard has released a new fragrance in time for Christmas for illigal immigrants and asylum seekers.
    It's a bit like Joop Jump or Armani Code.
    It's called "Go Homme."
  • sirfoster83
    sirfoster83 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 783
    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Tim's Beard
  • sirfoster83
    sirfoster83 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 783
    Oswald shot, Tim Blythe met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  • cabinetmaker
    cabinetmaker Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,561
    Tim's beard makes minute rice in less than a second, without ever boiling water.
  • james40
    james40 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,450
    It's a little known fact that from Space, the Great Wall of China is in the shape of the Beard. Chinese officials have no comment.

    Genies get 3 wishes when they rub the Beard. Their only wish is to have their own Beard, which is of course laughed at. Once thoroughly humiliated, the Beard kicks them in the nads and they are then cast into a bottle where they remain forever.

  • Nick2021
    Nick2021 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 938
    sirfoster83:
    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Tim's Beard
    lol
  • Diamondog
    Diamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    Mr. Snuffleupagus thought he was hairy until he met The Beard...
  • These Filthy Hands
    These Filthy Hands Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 455
    Tim Blythe built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, he met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  • These Filthy Hands
    These Filthy Hands Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 455
    The Beard once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
  • james40
    james40 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,450
    There's actually 13 months in the Calendar Year - Beardvember. Everyday in Beardvember is a holiday so that's why it's omitted from calendars. The Earth's axis is one strand of hair from the Beard. It will never need to be replaced.
  • sirfoster83
    sirfoster83 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 783
    These Filthy Hands:
    Tim Blythe built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, he met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
    Tim needs no time machine....the fountain of youth is actually the Beard.
  • roland_7707
    roland_7707 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,647
    Anytime The Beard walks by anyone the song "There goes my hero" plays mysteriously in his wake
  • surfingzeeko
    surfingzeeko Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 628
    The beard CAN eat only one Lay's potato chip.
  • james40
    james40 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,450
    The Wonder twins tried to transform into the Beard. They died as a result.
    The Beard is the 8th Wonder of the world
  • Diamondog
    Diamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    lol, good sh1t...
  • james40
    james40 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 3,450
    Zombies have a Beard plan
  • wwhwang
    wwhwang Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,863
    The razor can't shave The Beard, but The Beard can shave the razor.
  • wwhwang
    wwhwang Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 2,863
    The Beard is not a part of Tim's body. Tim is The Beard's car.
  • Diamondog
    Diamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    Surfers and swimmers around the world fear shark attacks, sharks around the world fear Beard attacks...
  • Diamondog
    Diamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    The Beard has only ever played 1 game of scrabble, he used the entire bag of letters in 1 turn, a new dictionary entry has been created and he is still waiting to hear back from Hasbro on how many points thats worth...
  • sol1821
    sol1821 Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 706
    a beard is for life, not just for christmas.
  • Diamondog
    Diamondog Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 4,169
    Santa Clause calls The Beard for growing tips...
  • undulac
    undulac Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 1,129
    100% of women and 5% of men love the Beard.