Hubby says no go. He thinks I'm crazy.
Salem
Everyone, Registered Users Posts: 717
Well, I might as well throw the cigar smoking idea in the dump. My husband is very opposed to my smoking cigars, EVEN if I do it on the back porch with no one around. He thinks I'm off my rocker. I disagree. I've been under a great amount of stress for a long time, and if I want to take the edge off with a cigar, why not? It's not illegal, I'm hurting no one. I could do a lot worse things. I can't even drink (I didn't like it), but I did like the cigars I've had.
Does anyone have any kind of clue to help persuade my husband that this is not crazy? I'm really disappointed. I'm not the kind of woman that bows down to her husband, and we both work to make our living and we have a good marriage, for many years, but I do have to live with him and would preferably like to do it in peace.
I'm so disappointed. There's got to be a way! Suggestions?
So help me, I want to go smoke one.
Comments
Comes down to communication and respect. He needs to communicate to you why he dislikes it. If there is a valid concern on his end he should express it. Then he should respect your decision either way. I love my wife and I am not trying to kill myself. She understands that. He should understand this is something you enjoy.
I remember reading somewhere that some tobacco farms do use pesticides of some sort on the young seedlings when they are at their most vulnerable. These pesticides are designed to be temporary and are gone by the time the plants are harvested. Even if there are pesticides left when the leaves are harvested, I can imagine that the fermentation process will remove virtually all traces of it. Whenever I've read about tobacco, the issue that I always come across has been mold. Farmers have gotten around that by breeding mold resistance strains rather than using fungicides.
Though regulations are meant to make something safe for the consumer and the environment, many are pointless and cost money. Consider the meat industry. Instead of having batches of meat randomly tested for parasites and harmful bacteria and then treating them, we've put in place more inspectors that just glance at the meat as it moves forward in line, so long as there's a certain amount of foreign material in our food that's acceptable.
Cigarettes are riddled with additives and toxins that are added with the tobacco, but I am not sure it is added while growing. Never heard anything like this.
I go to a B&M where many long time smokers hang out. NOT ONE of them has heard of a friend or cigar smoker dying of Emphsema, Lung Cancer, Stomach Cancer, Mouth Cancer, etc, etc. The examples of people they cite that die from these are the people that chew and smoke cigars or just plain chew on cigars daily for a long tiime. Not your 1 or 2 cigars a day people. Your occasional (3-4 cigars a week) barely are getting any nicotine compared to chew or cigarettes.
Look it up online and contact Ccom by phone for some honest answers. Ccom is not trying to lie or mislead anyone here. Cigars have health concerns. Everyone knows they do. They are nowhere close to cigarettes.
Since then she has actually gotten pretty comfortable with my cigars. Se loves the fragrance of the humidor when I open it, and she's enjoying learning about the cigars I collect.
My advice would be to use some fairly straightforward reasoning, and to be firm in your insistence. Perhaps you could invite him out to sit with you sometime, or to visit a local cigar bar for an hour or so. Good luck.
I'm wondering also if maybe he doesn't think it's weird for a woman to smoke cigars if so you can google woman smoking cigars, there's plenty out there.
And...show him a picture of Charlize Theron smoking a cigar and I guarantee his sticker will peck out a little.
She used to smoke cigarettes and quit shortly before we met 5 years ago. She doesn't beeitch or anything but she says it makes her feel like smoking cigarettes again and she doesn't want to do that.
On the other hand, we have some friends...the wife wouldn't let her husband get a motorcycle, he asked and asked again, finally she said, "if you get a million dollar life insurance policy you can have your motorcycle." He did it and got it, now she is happy as a clam! To really appreciate that story you would have to see how she looks. She could easily be on one of those housewives reality shows. My wife and I couldn't stop laughing when we got home that night! Anyhow, maybe you can find some common ground with him. Good luck!
You're on here chatting with a bunch of guys on a pretty regular basis.
One or two of those guys sent you gifts in the mail after hardly knowing you more than a day or two, and some of the rest are telling you what to try next and anticipating your writing about your experiences.
Now, don't get me wrong, everyone here knows that this same thing happens to most guys that are friendly enough to say 'hi' as well, but my point is that your husband sure as hell doesn't know that. A lot of people tend to get nervous/jealous when their spouse takes up a new hobby that doesn't involve them and involves others they don't know. Also, a lot of people fear that their spouse will begin cheating on them through the internet. You've kind of unwittingly hit your husband with a one-two punch of both at the moment.
I'd start there, and if concerns like chemicals don't magically vanish, you can address them later.